2 May 2015

I've Left School & I Feel Old

I can't quite believe I'm writing this right now but I've kinda officially left school.

This time last year, I wrote a post 'On Leaving, Growing Up & Missed Opportunities' and I guess that, in a way, this is the second installment. Last year, I was mildly freaking out about the old sixth years leaving school. It shook me up a bit and made me realise that, in a year's time, I would be leaving school too. I had always seen the sixth years as so much older and more mature than me so when they left school, it suddenly hit home that I need to be as old and mature as they were. I was a sixth year. They had been my safety blanket and now my safety blanket had been ripped from my arms and sent away on a train to Glasgow uni. Now, less than a year after that post went live, I'm out of school. 

It's funny, in a way. I spent all of this past school year saying to my friends that I'm not ready to leave and that I would never survive at uni. I can't count the number of mornings that were spent talking to Rachel about leaving school. All year, I was like "I'm not reading to leave right now but I'm sure I'll feel a lot more ready in May" but, unfortunately, that ain't true. It came so quickly and I'm still not ready to leave school, but it's too late. I feel like I'm on holiday but I'm not...I've left school. If this is brain mush then I don't know what is.

I genuinely feel so old. I'm turning 18 in 3 months. I'm looking into setting up a current account (whatever the heck that is). I'm applying to SAAS. I'm looking for a part-time job. I'm considering starting driving lessons. I even made a freaking chana masala the other day. I'm practically an adult. To add fuel to this fire, I went for a walk purely so I could listen to Bob Dylan on Thursday and I've taken up knitting. It's kinda like I'm skipping the full 'young adult' stage and going straight to being an old lady. Gonna get my OAP bus-pass soon. 

Right now, I'm studying for my exams. I've got 4 exams to sit during May, then a wee leavers day to attend and a leavers form to get signed before I'm an official school leaver. I have the hoody to prove it. Then in early September, I'm off to university. I tried to avoid it for the longest time but the truth is, I'm getting old. Ah well. 

Lots of love,
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